#jah rambles

[jahaliel]

Please tell me about black opal

So Black Opal is MY BABY!!! It's an original novel I've been working on for well over a decade. First of a trilogy, high fantasy and the main characters name is... Jahaliel XD In fact my pfp is a picture of the character I commissioned way back. It's sitting at about 50k words written, I redid a scene containing non-con, took a break because writing that was hard for me and then decided I would probably kill the scene entirely or just imply that things happened. Basic premise is that in the world there are Elementars - these people receive a blessing from the 5 elements (4 western standard + soul) each elemental has a form, a name and a domain - Air is mages (though powerful Elementars can manipluate their element/domain to some degree), Fire is warriors, Earth is knowledge, Water is healing and Soul is Art (of all kinds). Dual gifts are rare and balanced dual gifts are rarer still. Jahaliel is dormant - she has no Elemental affinity despite her father (the Emperor) being a dual type, and her mother also being a dual type. This changes when her bastard older brother becomes Heir and tries to get her chained to one of his buddies via marriage so as to kill her (hence the non-con). She runs away, undergoes many trials and awakens all 5 Elemental affinities. Yes this makes her a Mary Sue no i've never cared. Anyway her journey in Black Opal sees her declaring war on her half-brother at the end due to the way he's running the Empire into the ground. The sequels Red Beryl and Blue Diamond would be about the war and the creeping darkness that is controlling her half brother (he's unredeemable anyway to be clear there's just Other Problems also) So yeah. I don't know if i'll ever finish it but that's Black Opal

[jahaliel]

i downloaded a minecraft mod launcher. its full of advertisments and influencer videos constantly playing that i dont care about with no way to opt out. theres no other way to play modded minecraft but to deal with it.

i removed cortana from win10 only for the next update to install copolit (which i removed instantly but i shouldnt HAVE TO)

and why is climpchamp full of ai? why is canva full of ai?

i am going through and backing up all my poetry from a defunct forum. it makes me sad because it was so alive, it was free to join though they had a discrete donation button to support the hosting costs...

also physical menu or bust my husband doesnt use a smartphone sre you telling me this restuarant has no way to allow him to access the menu? then we're walking out and getting pizza.

I don't know I'm not done talking about it. It's insane that I can't just uninstall Edge or Copilot. That websites require my phone number to sign up. That people share their contacts to find their friends on social media.

I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.

Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.

I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.

I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.

Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.

I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.

My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.

I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?

No more!!!!! I love my iPod with so much storage and FLAC files. I love having all my fics on my harddrive. I love having USBs and backups. I love running scripts to gut suck stuff out of my Windows computer I don't want that spies on me. I love having forums. I love sending letters. I love neocities and webpages and webrings. I will not be scanning QR codes. Please hand me a physical menu. If I didn't need a smartphone for work I'd get a "dumb" phone so fast. I want things to have buttons. I want to use a mouse. I want replaceable batteries. I want the right to repair. I grew up online and I won't forget how it was!

[danadivine]

I am so blessed & highly in his favor.

[bear-cubs-art-things]

Rough bust reference for Deija!! This is her reference at the time of Lilys "disappearance". She is roughly 13-14 years old at time of lilys disappearance, and lives in the same orphanage that lily did (by which is referred to as "the House" by Lily, with cringe).

Also, first coloring of a black character, and lemme tell you IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF THIS LIKE OMG W H A T. THE F U C K.

And no, Deija is not available for asks... yet.

[fungibrainz]

[magdaclaire]

nothing makes me fall in love with a human being like earnest idiocy

[raymond-letsfell]

I Have Nightmares, but I Don't Have Bad Dreams

Let me explain, as that statement may- at first- seem contradictory. And perhaps it is. Perhaps I just define the two differently, when in reality there is no difference to be seen. However, if that is the case, I wouldn’t know exactly how to define them.

Every night, I have nightmares. These may be the most banal things you’ve ever seen- such as all my friends leaving me, hating me, my ex boyfriend running away again and again. You know, so on and so forth with that everyday crap. Then there’s what other people may start to find disturbing, the ones I probably have 4-5 times out of 7 each week. These are the ones where I get kidnapped. Where someone threatens to kill me again. Where I’m running away from those who want to harm me. Where I’m clawing through my skin. Where people actually kill me. Ones where I wake up screaming, “Someone, help us- oh, nevermind.”

And yet, despite that fact, I don’t have bad dreams. I don’t have bad dreams because they don’t disturb me. They don’t frighten me, even in the moment. Even though I’m completely convinced that the happenings are real when they are going on in my dreams, and even though I recall them in vivid detail afterwards- they never particularly scare nor do they sadden me. I am, for the most part, calm- at least, that’s what it seems to me. After all, it seems completely normal to me, and what that says about my mental state, I do not particularly want to look into at this moment.

So, in conclusion, I never have bad dreams- but I never have particularly good ones, either.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my friend on call for complaining about her grades? OK so, I (Ftm, 16) have a friend I'll call karla (F 16) shes very kind and she's also very talented. She does a lot of art stuff and shes won multiple awards. She's in honors and she has nearly all A's.

on the last day of school we where sitting at the lunch table and we where talking about grades and I was quiet cus I didn't get any like "good" grades. The thing is though, I hang out with a lot of smart kids. Everyone at my lunch table doesn't have anything lower than a C except one other person who only has one D+.

now i know grades arent a compitition but Karla was talking about how her grades where "so bad" and how she was so upset that she got- heaven forbid- a B- in math!! How horrible!!

and she kept going on and on about this B-, saying she was a failure and all that that I just got pissed.

i told her to shut up, that besides that B-, her grades where PERFECT. That her academic and creative life was PERFECT. That she doesn't get to call herself a failure cus what does that make EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON AT THAT TABLE?

now i'll admit i do think im kinda jealous of her. And I'm like 95% sure I'm the asshole cus she just left the table afterward. BUt Im just so bitter and tired of hearing of these gifted perfect kids sucking their own dick in front of other people.

idk im probably the asshole. i have apologized by now but she hasn't responded. I feel horrible I think. sorry for rambling at the end there-

AITA for telling a friend off for complaining about her good grades?

[fungibrainz]

youre all my children and this blog is feeding you. working me to the bone. but since the blog is the sustenance, youre actually essentially just EATING me TO THE BONE. but i give my flesh and self openly to you to feed on. i love you all.

[jahaliel]

All of your WIPs have such nice titles already - makes the two ones with "fuck" really stand out. I feel like those two need further explanation!

Both are amusingly enough scripts for audio performance. Oh Fuck Me is a set of short roughly 300 word scripts based around Monster Prom/Camp characters (currently Milo, Vera, and Scott - potentially more to be added). and Well Fuck, is a script about 2 friends who are on a road trip when a snowstorm comes on and they get snowed in at a cabin with only one bed because I'm a sucker for only one bed XD hope you're doing well!

[fungibrainz]

happy 9th birthday FNAF! I remember when you were a small little baby..... I would swaddle you and hold you in my arms........ Do you remember that? You don't? That's such a shame I would play with you all the time.. I have this photo of when I forgot to put you down for nap time once.... Are you sure you don't you remember it?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for pretending to be friends with a family's dead son? Long story short. I, (17, M) broke my arm, got my cast signed by the school's resident bully, got my therapy emails to myself stolen, ended up in a situation where my friend helped me write more fake emails because the kid killed himself and his family thought we were friends and then this other girl got involved and it turned into a whole project that went viral and I got in too deep and started hanging out with his family and then my mom got mad at me because my dad left when I was little and she was trying and sorry I'm rambling but literally everyone in my life is mad at me right now and I just. I don't know, I think I wanted a normal family. I wanted stability, I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't mean to lie my stupid anxiety issues got in the way and it kept going and I thought I was helping at first but now. AITA?

[salty-an-disco]

been a while, and that’s Skeptic’s fault (mf gave me so much trouble with his civilian design), but yeah. here’s some more designs for my Echomirror/Magical Girl AU

AU rambles under the cut

- wanted Smitten’s transformed look to be like a cross between Cupid and Robin Hood.

- Echo purposefully wanted to avoid giving Smitten’s reincarnation any magical powers as he’d knew that’d just be disaster, but unfortunately for him, no one can keep Smitty from his magical girl destiny. He just stumbled into a princess sphere and got his powers from the Princess there after helping her with her troubles, which then caused the sphere to disperse without killing anyone (gee, golly, I sure do wonder who that princess might be). He was horrified when he found out the others magical users are tasked with slaying these princesses instead of helping them, even more so when he found that the one giving out those tasks is a voice in a mirror (don’t they know disembodied voices coming from unsentient objects are often a source of evil???). So he’s something of a ‘rogue’ magical girl, as he refuses to slay the princesses and tries to stop others from doing so.

- Because of the way he got his powers, he doesn’t need Echo’s mirror or even a transformation phrase to transform, he can just do it at will.

- In his normal life, he’s a modestly successful romance author. Not a bestseller, but people who know his work are always happy to see his name in a book. Unsure about his names in this AU. Thinking of Arrowrose for his transformed name, and maybe something with ‘Eadán’ (can mean both jealousy and passion in irish) for his normal name.

- Skeptic’s reincarnation is also someone Echo tried to avoid giving powers, but he ended up coming across an echomirror anyway and Echo thought ‘OK, fine. He isn’t as bad as the smitten one, so might as well give this guy a shot–’ (he profusely regrets that decision).

- While not as adamant about his ‘no killing’ policy like Smitten, Skeptic also doesn’t have slaying the princesses as his top priority. He wants to study, so that he can better understand these reality-warping spheres and maybe keep them from happening. Often ends up teaming up with Arrowrose to do that, who’s just glad to see someone isn’t jumping the gun on killing these princesses.

- Not sure about his magical girl name, but his civilian name is Sasha Jah, something of an amateur researcher (his main interests are history, biology, and archaeology) who works in an office job just so he can afford his hobbies.

[fungibrainz]

i have been fighting for my fucking life every hour of every waking moment

if anyone tells you otherwise. be aware. i am NOT taking pills and a diet to get as frequent long and smelly farts as possible. and getting my boyfriend with them.

[t-am-i-the-asshole]

AITA for refusing to fund my boyfriends ‘genius’ idea?

I (F24) have been dating my boyfriend (M29) for 3 years, and while he’s always been a bit wacky I usually find it kind of endearing. This time however, he’s really outdone himself. A few weeks ago, he told me he had a “groundbreaking” idea that would “change humanity forever.” Entertaining him, I asked what it was. His answer? He wants to invent a new color.

Before we go any further it’s important to note we are both college graduates. I graduated in Biochemistry last year and my boyfriend in Philosophy a few years before, which makes this all the wilder I guess.

I tried to gently point out that colors exist as part of the visible spectrum of light, so unless he was about to discover some new wavelength, this might not be possible. But he waved me off, calling me “close-minded” and saying he was “enlightened in a way you’ll never be”

At first, I just nodded and let him ramble about his “vision.” But then he told me he needed funding to start his “research.” Specifically, he wanted me to give him $4,000 so he could buy “supplies,” including “advanced art tools,” a lab coat (because apparently, scientists wear them, so it would make him “feel smarter”), and—wait for it—a trip to the desert because he thinks the “pure sunlight” there will inspire him.

I told him absolutely not. I’m saving for grad school, and even if I weren’t, I’m not dropping thousands of dollars on his… whatever this is. He got mad, saying I didn’t believe in him or his “potential to revolutionize human perception.” He even accused me of being jealous that he had a “world-changing idea” and I didn’t. It got really heated and he ended up saying a lot of things about using my card as he knew the details anyway. For reference he’s been unemployed for a while now, whilst I’ve got a regular job. I ended up saying some things I do regret, but a lot of it was retaliation.

Now he’s sulking and telling everyone I’m “unsupportive” and “afraid of innovation.” His friends are backing him up, saying I should be encouraging his creativity instead of “crushing his dreams.” AITA for refusing to fund his quest to invent a new color?

EDIT: In terms of drugs we smoke weed occasionally but haven’t in the past few weeks, I’ve never seen him do any other drugs nor have I found any in the house. So I don’t know if I can really blame this on a bad trip

SECOND EDIT: Thankyou guys for all the advice, I’ve moved the majority of my money into my second bank account for now which I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have access to. In terms of his mental health I’m not in the habit of sharing his personal history online but seeing all your comments I do agree that this might be a mental health issue and I’m going to attempt to approach him with the idea of a consultation tomorrow, if anyone has any advice on that please let me know as I don’t want it to come across as insulting, I know he was down after his job but the comments have got me more worried about more serious illnesses that he may have.